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WARLORDS OF DREANOR - RELEASE ON 13.11.2014

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 Why So Dead?

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Sup 
FelhoundFelhound

Posts : 195
Joined : 2010-09-03
Male Age : 18
Location : New York

Character in WOW
Server: Perenolde
Name: Trollkicker
Guild: Requited Pride

  Mon 27 Dec 2010 - 6:13  #
I'll revive it by showing you some WoW humor, eh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvF1o1ObPr0

If YouTube's blocked in China, here's the quest text (it's about a real funny Cataclysm quest called Welcome to the Machine):

Come in here dear , have a cigar. You're gonna go far and fly high as a ranking officer of the Forsaken. Yes, indeed, this is the good life and you are going to live it! I want you to take these orders and dispense them to the lowly scrubs that come along looking for work. Who you give what to is wholly at your discretion. When you're ready, mount up on my trusty skeletal steed - so they don't miss you - and start living the life! Which means just stand there and wait.

After accepting the quest, you walk up to a vacant Skeletal Steed and get on top of it. Here's the text during the quest that's the core of the joke.

High Executor Darthalia says: Stand tall and proud, . Don't let any of these scrubs give you any trouble. Show them who's boss!

High Executor Darthalia says: I see one coming now! Looks like a real winner. Keep it cool, . Keep it cool.

A level 19 character named Dumass walks in, saying everything in capital letters.

Dumass says: HI! HI! HELP!

Dumass says: HI! HI! HELP!

Dumass says: HI! I'M NEW! BIG WHITE LIGHT CREATURE WITH WINGS MADE ME ALIVE! I SERVE THE BANSHEE QUEEN! YAY!
HELP!
HI!

Maybe you should go take a nap or something. I don't know if I have any work for you.

Dumass says: OK! THANKS! I'LL JUST WAIT HERE WITH YOU! THANKS! OK!

Wait a minute. It looks like something just came up. Yes, right here on this sheet of paper. You need to head southeast to to the Azurelode Mine and report to Captain Keyton. Southeast is that way *you point southeast*.

Dumass says: NORTH! GOT IT! THANKS! BYE! THANKS!

High Executor Darthalia says: These new Forsaken tend to be a little... um... stupid. It usually takes awhile for them to acclimate.

High Executor Darthalia says: Oh great... not this one again. I know this orc. He's got no business being here, but since he's a bottom-feeding pansy he likes to hang around here and prey on the helpless. Don't let him bully you.

The level 80 Kingslayer Orkus of the guild flies in on his frost wyrm mount, fully equipped with tier 10 gear.

Kingslayer Orkus yells: CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE LOK'TAR IS COOKIN'?

Kingslayer Orkus says: HAH! Looks like you're running out of idiots to put atop this horse, Darthalia. This is the puniest one yet.

Kingslayer Orkus says: What have you got for me today, weakling? Point me to where the Alliance hide and I shall DOMINATE THEM!

Kingslayer Orkus says: I have seen the fall of the Lich King. Creations of the titans have fallen before my mighty axe. When called upon, I alone spearheaded a victory for the Argent Crusade against the beasts of Northrend. Now, I come for the ultimate challenge. What does Hillsbrad Foothills have to offer Kingslayer Orkus?

Um... Apparently there are bloodthirsty worgen running rampant in the south. Maybe you could help with them?

Kingslayer Orkus says: Bloodthirsty you say? Is there any risk of death or dismemberment to me?

None.

Kingslayer Orkus says: Then Orkus WILL DO IT! YES!

Right, thanks. Just go ahead and head south. Far south. Probably off the coast.

Kingslayer Orkus says: Yes, cowardly quest giver, sit atop your pale horse while Orkus brings glory to the Horde! I shall return with a thousand skulls!

High Executor Darthalia says: Here's to hoping he never returns. Maybe he'll drown?

High Executor Darthalia says: Ah, crap. You're on your own with this one, .

Johnny Awesome, a level 20 blood elf, of the guild rides in on a Celestial Steed and fully equipped with heirlooms.

Johnny Awesome says: Johnny Awesome has arrived, philistine. Present me with your menial tasks so that I may complete them with only mild enthusiasm and most likely a complete disregard for any directions that you provide that are more complicated than what my map is able to display.

Johnny Awesome says: Look at me, peasant. Heirlooms cover my body from head to toe, gifted to me by the greatest heroes Azeroth has ever known.

Johnny Awesome says: Now look at yourself.

Johnny Awesome says: Quickly, look back at me.

Johnny Awesome says: Yes, this horse IS made of STARS.

Johnny Awesome says: What pointless series of tasks befitting a mentally deficient orc have you prepared for me?

Well, we are having some problems at the Sludge Fields, located northeast of here. Warden Stillwater could use your help.

Johnny Awesome says: Fine, fine, what else?

That's all.

Johnny Awesome says: That's all? One quest? Surely you jest. Are there not bear asses to collect? Perhaps a rare flower that I could pick from which you will make some mildly hallucinogenic tonic which you will then drink, resulting in visions of a great apocalypse? Perhaps the local populace of mildly annoying, ill-tempered gophers are acting up and need to be brought to justice? No? Nothing?

THAT'S ALL, JOHNNY AWESOME. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!

Johnny Awesome says: I will do this ONE thing that you ask of me, quest giver. Pray I find more menial tasks to accomplish or you will be hearing from me again and I assure you that my commentary on forums of public opinion will be most unkind.





(If you didn't get it, each NPC represents a common player stereotype. Dumass represents the dazed noob, Orkus represents the egotistical ganker, and Johnny represents the egotistical alt)
Fluberwinter 
DragonspawnDragonspawn

Posts : 457
Joined : 2008-01-05
Male Age : 21
Location : Shanghai

Character in WOW
Server: 奥特兰克-CN1(PVP) Horde
Name: Wushu/Thron
Guild: The Crazy Waiguoren

  Tue 28 Dec 2010 - 20:20  #
Wow... OMG, that is the best quest ever!
It's even got the old spice commercial reference in!

I <3 Blizzard
StiXx 
NecromancerNecromancer

Posts : 702
Joined : 2008-06-11
Male Age : 30
Location : Guangzhou / Eindhoven

Character in WOW
Server: 奥特兰克-CN1(PVP)
Name: Avanti
Guild: The Crazy Waiguorens

  Mon 3 Jan 2011 - 5:02  #
This horse is made of stars LOL

Should have made him ride it backwards though Wink
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  Today at 8:23  #
 

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