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 MUAHAHAHA, SILLY AMERICANS, ROFLMAO. BEST BLOG <EVARRRR&g

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Naklin 
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  Wed 20 Dec 2006 - 10:17  #
This web log i found is just HILARIOUS. It is SO absurd, i cracked up laughing. Their articles about homosexuality, liberalism, Europeans (!!!!!), terrorism, the bible, etc. are a blast to read (even though a bit frightening sometimes, when you are not sure if MAYBE they are NOT joking, and they ARE stupid enough to believe things like this.....).

Quote :
Dear Friends,
We decided to travel from the heartland of the USA to the heartland of the country that has done the most to support terrorism, and has consistently fought against world freedom: France

We picked a region of central France that looked most similar to my own Oklahoma. Most people in this area are simple country folk; farm-workers just like my own grandparents. The bible teaches us that simple folk are often the most receptive to the Good News. Unfortunately we soon discovered that the devil was ready to oppose us on his home ground.


A typical French shop - closed, boarded up and out of business. The French economy is stagnating. The retail experience resembles that of post-soviet Russia.

The first thing you have to know about France is that it has reached a state of terminal economic stagnation. If you want to see this for yourself, try standing on a urban main-street at just after mid-day, the time when in our own home towns the hard-working christian business-men would be doing a brisk trade. The French street is an example of commercial woe. The shops are shut, the street is deserted: It’s like a ghost town. This is the modern France after it was completely ransacked by Muslim rioters in 2005.


In 2005 France’s huge Muslim population rebelled, going on a nationwide rampage of death and destruction. France’s ill-equiped police force was barely able to contain the damage. The result is the crippled country we see today. This is precisely what the Democrats want for America.

The next thing you need to know about the French is that they are lazy. The French language has no word for “entrepreneur”, because self-motivation is completely unknown in this Godless land.

The few French who have jobs only turn up when they are not on strike (which is most of the time), and then when they do decide to show up for work they generally work in a half-hearted disdainful way. The Frenchman will pack up sometime before mid-day for no particular reason and drink himself silly on the region’s acrid wines and smoke a few “Jazz Cigarettes”, before shuffling listlessly back to work.

After work, this morally depraved wreck of humanity will shuffle to one of the many local drinking dens and get himself blindly drunk. If you were to confront a Frenchman and tell him that his lifestyle is dooming him to an eternity in Hell, he will probably laugh at you and tell you that he does not care. The Frenchman has already made a death-pact with Satan.

Christ teaches us that adversity often brings faith, so we set up our first base in the small agricultural town of Chinon, France next to the lazy river Loire. Joined by a small huddle of supporters we began bearing witness to Christ’s love in this godless town of drunkards. At first we felt that we were being ignored by the ignorant Frenchmen that live in this town, but gradually we found ourselves at the center of a large and growing audience.

Friends, we Christians know that miracles do happen every day. Those of us who pray know that God provides and on that day, the very first day of Mission Europe, the spirit of God filled us all and we began speaking in tongues. It was as if the air became electrified and the Spirit of God spoke through us, shouting Christ’s message to all who came to listen. We were speaking no human language, but the language of God. I just know that souls were saved, and God was pleased with our work.

When our congregation was over we handed out King James bibles, the only version of the bible that is authorized by God. We were distressed to learn that very few of the Frenchmen could speak, let alone read American, preferring their own savage illiterate tongue. We resolved that this would be the work of a subsequent mission, to teach these hateful wretches God’s language.


French illegal immigrants like this man often use decption to obtain an American work-permit or “Green Card”. Their goal is to seduce our American women and steal our jobs. They should be prevented from entering the USA on account of their perverse pro-terrorist views.

But once again, the Devil sent his minions to try us; A frenchman approached as we were handing out bibles and educational tracts. At first it was hard to understand what he was trying to say throuh his absurd, outlandish accent, but eventually it dawned on us that he was congratulating us for what he believed to be a street theater performance.

We here have developed a thick skin against liberal taunts. They are always incorrectly accusing us of being a satire, but in that moment we learned that French liberals were no different from American liberals. What was the point in telling him he was going to hell - the whole nation is damned anyway, so what difference does one more sinner in this godless cess-pit make?


This wine is typical of what is drunk in France. Le Piat D’Or is one of the more popular French brands. Personally I would prfer a cool Bud to the disgusting wine that the French prefer.

Finally, while I usually abstain from alcoholic drink, I confess that after a long day of witnessing for Christ, I like a cool beer. Finding a good beer in that region of France proved to be impossible. None of the bars in the town could sell us a Bud or a Coors or any beverage untainted by French queerness.

[center]
The King of Beers. This original American product is not available in most of Europe, including France because the French are offended by our principles of hard work, family and love of God. Instead, the french drink crudely brewed local wines. These are of inconstent quality, typically unpleasantly acrid or bitter.

I explained to the rustic bar-man that a Budweiser is the “King of Beers”, and made by hard working Christian Americans. Instead he offered me the local sour-tasting wine that Frenchmen use to stupefy their atheist souls every night. He served this with a bowl of raw minced beef on which a raw egg had been cracked. Disgusting food for a savage, godless nation.

My advice to you dear friends is do not expect to drink or dine well in this wretched country. If we had known what we were getting into, we would have packed up and left right away, but it seems that God had further challenges for us… (to be continued)

Yours in Christ,

Tristan

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Troutman 
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  Wed 20 Dec 2006 - 17:43  #
I'm proud of my country. Everyone should be. I was born there, and have spent the majority of my life sleeping under an American flag. The blog? you are referring to is just an example of freedom of speech. Not everyone in the country shares the same views. I'd much rather drink with the Frenchmen and stupefy my atheist soul than to listen to this whack-job (blogger) talk LOL. Let's not forget that the USA is a melting pot of people from everywhere in the world...

BTW, Budweiser is considered by most of the people I know to be "cheap" beer (and it really is inexpensive in the USA). I personally don't like it, and seldom drank it when I lived there, and sure as hell never drink it (at crazy prices) now that I don't.
Naklin 
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  Wed 20 Dec 2006 - 19:03  #
it's SATIRE. it's a satirical Blog.

www.shelleytherepublican.com

but the way its written, its perfectly "hinterland" redneck ideology with narrow mind. it's a blast to read. and i lived in france too long, so i "earned" my right shoving this one in the face of my fellow french friends... hehehe especially since i am always "ze german" for them ^^

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pouetpou 
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  Wed 20 Dec 2006 - 21:36  #
Lol, i just waste my time to read this pece of shit...brb
deadanus 
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  Thu 21 Dec 2006 - 4:15  #
"After work, this morally depraved wreck of humanity will shuffle to one of the many local drinking dens and get himself blindly drunk. If you were to confront a Frenchman and tell him that his lifestyle is dooming him to an eternity in Hell, he will probably laugh at you and tell you that he does not care. The Frenchman has already made a death-pact with Satan."

pretty much true Smile
Globuline 
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  Thu 21 Dec 2006 - 12:44  #
Depardieu is an illegual immigrant......

This guy is good, as long as you know it is IRONY!!!

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pouetpou 
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  Thu 21 Dec 2006 - 14:12  #
irony or not, it's very bad...i cannot catch his humor... but i have a lot, maybe with this guy i found my humor limit....555
but i can make difference bettwen connerie and humor... for me it's connerie lol
and i really think foreigners humor is very strange.. and din't give me laugth too much... i pefer more subtil or darck humore, ironk too, but not that style of idiotik humor lol ehe
Naklin 
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  Thu 21 Dec 2006 - 20:35  #
lol... somehow right, panoramix.
the humour is special there.
but its because its a satirical portrayal of avg. redneck, under-educated ppl in the US, basing everything on christianism and supporting bush blindly.
when i read that blogpage, i can't hold myself usually with the daily things. because its just too much.
but the worst part of satire is, there actually ARE people like that out there......
(frightening though)
haha...

anyone have monty pythons "the meaning of life" in a format that could be possible for me to obtain? couldn't find a dvd shop with that movie..... they have ALL of flying circus eps, but not that movie.... blasphemy!

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Double Dragon 
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  Tue 13 Feb 2007 - 9:43  #
You know, I'm an American from the midwest, and I have to say that while this is a little bit over the top, there are many people there that would agree with a good chunk of this, unfortunately. I grew up in the Christian school system (private schools), and there are some serious Christian freaks out there. Before they mentioned the Democrats, i also had already guessed that they were Republican. Republicans, money, and Christianity usually go together.

I find this especially funny only because I've seen this attitude for real, and still can't believe it, but there really are a lot of people like this. I honestly couldn't wait to get out of America and away from the closed-mindedness about the rest of the world.

As for the economy, America doesn't have anything to brag about. I looked for ANY job for 4 years and couldn't find a thing, so I went back to get my MBA before moving to China. Granted, the job situation in America is probably better than many parts of Europe right now, but all-in-all, not very good. Certainly nothing compared to China.

There are too many parts of the world that put up walls against others, and consider themselves superior. When will everyone learn that people are the same no matter where you travel?

I don't agree with anything in that blog, btw, especially the part about Bud (it's terrible). I liked MGD
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MUAHAHAHA, SILLY AMERICANS, ROFLMAO. BEST BLOG <EVARRRR&g

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